Momentie / Comments

Momentie

Hi there,
This is the former home of my fiction - Unfortunately from drama, to a lack of innovation - To bugs that made the site unusable to me - My books are no longer being hosted here on here.

This in mind I'm leaving this note here to let people with an interest know you can find all my works in updated versions over on RoyalRoad & ScribbleHub - With plans for other releases yet to come.

For more info you can check out the final chapters of either 'UnderCurrent' or 'The Girl He Used to Know' - Which both depict my odd journey with this website😅.
HoneyFeed had its merits, it got me some feedback & I made some good friends here - But it is in effect the training wheels of web-noveling sites - If you are even slightly serious about your art or simply want a website that will teach you proper formatting & has an actual userbase - Then do yourself a favour, take off the training wheels & seek out the website that is right for you😊.

Best Regards,
-Momentie

registered at: Oct 14, 2021

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aaa

Jan 28, 2022

To:EliteWarrior910

Oh I see sounds interesting, and useful for that matter😁😉

The Dungeon Party

Chapter:6

Jan 27, 2022

To:EliteWarrior910

To be honest I was more focused on the idea that a bamboo sword could be used in a single swing to take a man off his feet😅😅 but I guess that was more for comedic effect😂😂.

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Heck of a chapter, didn't see any of this coming so props to ya Gulf👍

The Dungeon Party

Chapter:6

Jan 27, 2022

To:Ochroleucous

Wow our boi Odell looks to be packing a series weapon in his '19 sketch!

And Harlon....I didn't know she used to be so masculine😂.

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These are Alot of fun, its great to see how long you've been working on this world, makes me envious😁.

Good luck on your next 100 likes, hopefully some more people will soon pick up your work😊😁.

The Nonpareil of Resh (Act 1)

Chapter:72

Jan 27, 2022

To:Gulfstream

Thanks! And ya gotta get some tension in there😉😉

The Girl He Used To Know - Original HoneyFeed Version

Chapter:7

Jan 26, 2022

Lol, am only a few lines into this monster of a chapter but the hell you mean it's only been a week?😅

Are weeks longer in this world? Have we seen every single action antrhyom has taken, every day of quiet uneventful travelling between locations😶?

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Heck let's break it down shall we?:

Walked to the village, meets Sae Squad & Co [+1] - Kills rats then hunts beasty [+2] - Get hit on by priest then save burning town(kinda) [+1].

Walk to next town and stay at it [+1], spent days making money at a post office and getting a map plus lord.cabinets aid [+like 4?].
Crystal crossing[+1]
Meet anthryom at the party and start traveling[+1], attacked by initial assassin's[+1]. Pokémon cave[+1].

Sandy Cove filler arc (library day plus anthryoms 'day-off') [+2].
Figthing goddess snake [+1].

Verdict: At a conservative estimate atleast 16 days have passed, more then 2 weeks minimum!

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Don't get me wrong, I know this must all seem like a nickpity and it is (and boi will I be embarsed if I read on only to find out you address this later in the chapter😅) but this is the sort of thing that can completely shatter a reader's emersion.

In adventure stories, the passing of time is one of the simplist ways the author shows progress to a reader.

In a lonnnnnnnnng ass book like this one, it is best to convey that an equally long time has passed.

Imagine reading 2/3rds of lord of the rings only for Sam to go "Oh Mr.Froodo, it's only been a week but already I miss Honiton" - It would kill the immersion, bring into question the fundamentals of time and distance in this world and make the story feel inconsequential - Like the couple 1000 pages of reading where just an elaborate opening act.

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That's all for now, shall read the rest of the chap soon 😊👍.

The Isekai Police: Promise of a Wonderful Fantasy was a Lie

Chapter:48

Jan 26, 2022

To:N. D. Skordilis

Sounds like your doing well! Happy to hear it 😊👍.

The Time Capsule - Part 1

Chapter:7

Jan 26, 2022

"Oh boy!" 😂😂

The justice system acts fast, they're super efficient 😅.

New house is neet, our girl and her 7 new compan-- ..... Ah I get it, snow-white and the seven dwarfs... Well played😂😂

CirCular

Chapter:7

Jan 26, 2022

Ok that was the best and funniest thing I've read in ages 😂😂😂😂.

#relatable
#justicefornovelkun

Web novels are people too!

Chapter:1

Jan 25, 2022

I really like the slow character beats in these, watching them interact is the best part of the novel for me😊👍

Dance of Thorns

Chapter:26

Jan 24, 2022

Sae!!!!! I knew he'd be back eventually 😂😂.

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I like the visitors tax idea but the emphasis on a tourism district is wierd considering where we are. Like sure inns for visitors makes sense but why would fort Nox have a gift shop as it were😅.

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I do slightly question the logic of this chapter.
I would of thought you would take advantage of the Toal arc, in order to have antryom and Neitra time skip ahead.
I.e. we'd meet back up with them a week or two after we last saw them.

The proof thing you could easily explain in a one liner and I presume they could of just as easily met Sae in two weeks time - Which makes this chapter feel redundant.
Like ya it's fun and a nice break form all the action but it feels pointless.
47 chaps in, we don't need another Inn scene and another planning a plan at the Inn scene ya know?

It's sort of a running thing in the book where I can see the intention but I feel you maybe add to much - You could easily have this chapter start with a now more settled duo having a nice time in town before Regul turns up to brief them on how the mission is progressing, finishing with SAE recognising them - That way you'd cut 50% of the fluff, start in Media-Res and get all the same character and plot beats.

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Overall tho a good chapter😊👍

The Isekai Police: Promise of a Wonderful Fantasy was a Lie

Chapter:47

Jan 24, 2022

The criminals becoming security consultants is a nice detail, it's a thing that actually does happen in real life (Brittain I believe has used former hackers, America to) heck even within anime you have the story of Crunchyroll going from pirate-site to corporation - So this acts as a surprisingly compelling reason for our protag to have these skills.

I can also safely say that 50%(++++++) of council workers and operators never even lock the exterior of a manhole....Spend like a day in the water industry lol, I spent a month going around the Provence swapping out old manholes for new ones....I have seen too many manholes for one lifetime....

So ya two great and logical additions😊.

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As for general stuff your prose is quite good fun, I like the way you describe people's appearences especially 😊👍

The Dungeon Party

Chapter:5

Jan 24, 2022

Huh, I didn't exactly expect such an extensive isekai portion to the book but I ain't complaining either😁😉👍

CirCular

Chapter:5

Jan 23, 2022

Interesting, could be a powerful new ability🤔🤔

Avalon

Chapter:20

Jan 23, 2022

To:Pearlyn.M

My pleasure, always happy to help any fellow writer, we all grow by criticing and helping each other out😊👍.

And get well soon!!

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:19

Jan 23, 2022

Interesting chapter, I like the character beats but it does raise some maybe unimportant questions:

Are their engineering sisters? Like ones who keep the power flowing, hunt for oil, fix generates - Heck create lightbulbs?

Love the Madoka reference but like how have those CDs and manga survived like 100s of years? Like logically these houses are fairly ad-hoc ya?
So they're gonna be damp and prone to moisture and bugs etc - I feel anything like a DVD is gonna have long since died🤔.

Why is Rena away from her squad, does the squad have a vice-commanders in her place

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But tbf those are minor questions, great chapter😊👍.

Dance of Thorns

Chapter:25