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Momentie

Hi there,
This is the former home of my fiction - Unfortunately from drama, to a lack of innovation - To bugs that made the site unusable to me - My books are no longer being hosted here on here.

This in mind I'm leaving this note here to let people with an interest know you can find all my works in updated versions over on RoyalRoad & ScribbleHub - With plans for other releases yet to come.

For more info you can check out the final chapters of either 'UnderCurrent' or 'The Girl He Used to Know' - Which both depict my odd journey with this website😅.
HoneyFeed had its merits, it got me some feedback & I made some good friends here - But it is in effect the training wheels of web-noveling sites - If you are even slightly serious about your art or simply want a website that will teach you proper formatting & has an actual userbase - Then do yourself a favour, take off the training wheels & seek out the website that is right for you😊.

Best Regards,
-Momentie

registered at: Oct 14, 2021

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aaa

Jan 21, 2022

Odell is such a sad boi in this chapter😅😅.

And damn, unless their bluffing, sounds like the enemy has numbers on their side too!😶😶

The Nonpareil of Resh (Act 1)

Chapter:68

Jan 21, 2022

Even more information is revealed!

So to be clear, this version of Yang went through both the arena and the library and arrived in this world as a manequien but is now healed back to being a human?

Further a world (I would say planet but maybe not?) With no stars🤔🤔.

Can we presume Yang retains all the combat skill and maybe even knowlage of the library or are those things tied to the items - Hence our thieving Jyn speaking English cause of the orb?

Also really love the way you used sounds in the opening part of this chapter😊😊😁😁.

CirCular

Chapter:4

Jan 21, 2022

To:ocrali

Thank you so much, it's a super helpful answer😊👍.

Especially your point about single chapters and if anything I'm glad the connections to undercurrent help😁😊.

Again thanks man, it means alot that you care enough to spend actual time thinking about this😭😊.

The Girl He Used To Know - Original HoneyFeed Version

Chapter:8

Jan 21, 2022

To:Cas_Cade

Ahhh I see, makes sense😂.

Air as in the anime by Kyoto Ani😉😉

CirCular

Chapter:3

Jan 21, 2022

The crow reminds me a bit of the one from 'AIr'😂😊.

Ne mystery perhaps? I noticed they reference the mannequin as 'A he' - Is that a just because its a mannequin or something more? Interesting times!😊😉

CirCular

Chapter:3

Jan 21, 2022

Important(?) Chapter Notes;
-----------------------------------------
Hi all, This chapter got pretty close to not happening - Long story short I got my first long form review from the sites most well-known admit/critic and it was pretty scathing - In as few words as possible between 3 comments my work was described as extenious, drawn-out, somewhat pointless, with bad grammar and that they wouldn't be going past chapter/episode one.

I'll admit it was a bit of a blow to my fragile pride and ego😅 and I considered scraping my idea of getting this done for the monthly challenge, putting it on hiatus for a couple weeks and then reposting it to be my more normal standard/style (ala the regular UnderCurrent Book).

However considering how many times I've given people the advice to not give up, it would be pretty hypocritical for me not to follow what I preach.

As such I will still be aiming to finish all 12 chapters of this book for Valentines day, however in order to allow myself more polish and a chance to do a second draft of the earlier chapters - These will no longer be daily, instead they'll come out anywhere between 2-5 days.

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With all that said the novel has received a heartwarmingly high amount of support (Nearly a hundred likes in 2 weeks!!) So i have a few questions in hopes of improving - If you could answer them that'd be amazing!

1 - Do you feel I drone on a bit/over-describe things?
And if so does it eventually pay-off in your opinion or is alot of the story padding?

2 - Do you like the Chapters being divided into 'Part1 & Part2's or would I have been better off just posting them as single full chapters?

3 - Is the story confusing to follow (Especially the double isekai thing)?

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Any answers to these would mean alot to me as I really want to keep improving😊. Thanks as always so much for reading!

The Girl He Used To Know - Original HoneyFeed Version

Chapter:8

Jan 21, 2022

Yay I finished another novel, I'm on a roll this week😂😂.

I think I made my Qualls with your work pretty clear as we went along so I won't leave one of my normal long-winded reviews here at the end😅.

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To summarize the bad; Descriptions and Fights early are lacking.
The mysterious are mostly predictable and the twists feel more important then the story (ergo the disapointment of Runo being such an obvious & Boeing villian).
Further while maybe not plot holes, there are Alot of convinces throughout the work.

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To summarize the good; It's a lot of fun😊, characters are simply but have distinct personalities, voices and designs.
The cover and art in general is amazing, Dolly's pain is greatly done - And you made a whole lot of people happy 😊.

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Overall I'm glad I gave this a read and good luck to you in your future endeavours 😊😊👍👍.

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:19

Jan 20, 2022

Sledgehammer in the flashback is somehow more contrived then the one in the cave😅.

Vague random science is really all we get for the mass conversion of the whole world? Like what exactly was the Doc aiming for, that got corrupted into a monster virus with such spreading and reality altering powers/abilities?

Why does Dolly have no memories when he says she should in this chap?
How does Netty not realise what Runo is? Even if her memories are locked away or suppressed or whatever, surely they ain't locked that deeply?

Pearllllllllll make the plot holes and conviences stopppppppp😂😂.

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Just in case I sounded harsh above and in my last few comments, let me make clear that I think you do have a fun writing style and alot of great concepts😊.

I got absolutely roasted in a few comments today (and not the funny type but the cold hard facts kind😅) and if I ever come across as harsh myself I hope it's clear I wouldn't be reading if I wasn't still enjoying your work.

Your the competition winner so you hardly need me to say this but I think this novel is real amazing, I envy you just for having a completed story that's made so many happy!

So while as we near the end it becomes increasingly clear this novel probably wasn't for me/or my sensibilities - I hope my comments don't come across as discouraging 😊👍.

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:17

Jan 20, 2022

I think you'd prefer honest feedback pearl and tbh almost nothing in here was surprising.

Dolly and Marinette/Netty being created by someone connected to the scientist was obvious and I think I even commented on an earlier chapter that Naoh's doll was guarantied to be Dolly related in some fashion & that his dad would be the scientist.

I didn't exactly predict Runo's job title but I had expected him to be something to do with robotics.

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So yea 2 meh chapters in a row😕.

I think perhaps this is a me problem, most others love your book which I think is great and I'm happy a good author like you won the competition 😊 - Just seems this sort of predicatable, twist based narrative isn't for me🤔.

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:16

Jan 20, 2022

Oh noooooooooooo Pearl I had more faith in you then this😭.

Man I don't even know where to begin, this is quiet the downward turn😕.

Ever since the beginning Runo has been so heavily alluded to being bad that it seemed too obvious and with time it began to seem like you'd gone the nuaced route - He shows emotions, cares for his friends, is a good guy with alot of harsh battle-scares.

But no, obvious bad guy is obvious😭.
And come on there is nothing worse then the bad guy who just hand waves away all the nice things they did - honestly what a predicatable let-down

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I really hate sounding so harsh as this but it's way to close to the Fate franchise - You know how those always start with a background character ominiouly staring at the camera so often that you think - "Can't be him, that'd be stupidly obvious and boring" - And then low & behold it's always that most obvious guy in the end.

Except this is worse becuase you showed more of Runo then anyone else and he's clearly a good guy, making this whole twist forced and contrived.

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I dunno, maybe In the follow chapters you'll reveal something else to make it more justified but if that answer is some stupid - "I spent decades pretending to be a nice human just to get to you Dolly, mwahahahahahhahahaha" - That Amma be the big sad.

Like this might work fine for a shoen or a children's show but I guess I'd come to expect more from you ya know?

Again sorry if all this sounds mean, but this is a bit saddening which I guess is maybe the intention😶😶😕😕.

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:15

Jan 20, 2022

What is this hairisy! All wise wolf's love apples do they not! ( To obsecue a reference?😂)

WholeSum

Chapter:0

Jan 20, 2022

Interesting first couple of chapters, I would say more but @Bubbles below covers it all😂😊👍.

Midnight King

Chapter:2

Jan 20, 2022

Differentiating between lily and lillia is confusing lol😅😅

Transmigrated Into a Noble's Beaten Son

Chapter:6

Jan 19, 2022

Dun Dun DUN!!

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:14

Jan 19, 2022

Return of the croissants!!😂😂

Avalon

Chapter:11