Jan 25, 2025
think this was a pretty cool story. The concept, some of the characterization was done well. i feel as if though others have said a lot so i won't say much, but i did enjoy reading this. There were some parts on the tour that may have extended a bit much, and the prose i will chalk up to your style. Sometimes it broke readership due to the amount of run on sentences, but ultimately i think that is simply my preference. i don't 100% understand why Zenith did what they did, but i don't think it was big enough for me to say it was a plot point that was wasted or anything. i think Lena was good for the most part, her being unsufferable made sense bc she's her and her sister dying actually was a direct consequence of her negligence. i think the last chapter was great and was an embodiment of what i enjoyed about this story. The reflective and poignant tone. anyways, good luck!
