Aug 31, 2023
To:Mo
YESS ^O^
ok im excited bc ur a genius but also im home from work n have sushi :3
Jealousy is exactly it. There's another concept hidden in the background of this novel. Its not just the 'masks' that we wear: but its also that we wear 'glasses' at the same time, all tinted to view people in different lights. For Nagahiro, Agreste wore glasses of jealousy; in a way that he cannot see through that 'haze'. But then, what tint of glass does Agreste wear for Theresia? Perhaps, for the first time, unknowingly, his glasses were clear; sometimes hazy, of course, but perhaps Theresia was the first person in this new world, with new eyes, that Agreste chose to see 'clearly'.
Well, as for the 'frame of reference' of Nagahiro from Agreste's perspective - yhhm isn't finished. Prequels, sequels, there's more to come, so maybe Nagahiro's story isn't fully shown yet -uo
The reason Agreste lashed out is what you've landed on - reminders of the feelings he was hiding, stuffing away in hopes that he wouldn't have to feel the pain. He had spent so many years alongside Nagahiro that he had completely forgotten about these feelings. Now, perhaps it feels as if Nagahiro had been the one to distract him from all of it. Perhaps he feels broken, not given time to process anything, and perhaps wrongly, he blames her for it. That is, in essence, some strange part of humanity. -uo
Of course, Agreste regretted this view of her, as seen when he tries to save her. This was the first time Agreste felt this idea of 'family' apart from his parents. Since she died, he was really hesitant around that idea from that point forward. Of course, this idea is slowly eased back into him- this concept of 'family', but Nagahiro just wasn't the person who was able to do it for him. That's fine however, its just how human relationships work. They offer ideas and changes in our lives, but the person who offers you a great perspective is not necessarily the person you'll end up with.
A friend, definitely. Family- perhaps. A lover? Nagahiro was just never in the cards.
Of course, despite Agreste's aversion to 'family', he always longed for it. The whole reason the 'Baron of Lilacs' came into existence was to seek out fame, so that he could come back crawling to his Family name.
Of course, when he was beloved for being a poet, the 'Baron of Lilacs' had a different purpose - praise. The praise Agreste recieved for his words were a bandaid on his heart. Of course, its just a bandaid. When Agreste began to hurt again, he realised that, and 'praise' lost its meaning to him, and he in turn grew averse to praise as a whole.
Agreste as a character is one who hops inbetween coping mechanisms to fill the hole in his heart, searching desperately for the 'final thing' that will heal him. Of course, this one thing could only be when he finds the one who could be 'family' to him. Nagahiro was family, in some certain sense, but as long as Agreste cannot actually say it aloud, it won't feel real to him. For Nagahiro, Agreste couldn't bring himself to say that aloud, which means Nagahiro was never going to be the one to heal him.
It was important for me to offer two parallels in this story. Agreste's past was supposed to be the 'unhealthy' parallel. This was his relationship with Nagahiro, and how he handled it. The future parallel was supposed to be 'healthy'- how he handles his relatiomship with Theresia, and how he grows from his mistakes and past.
I would urge you to keep this in mind- 'will he choose to risk it all to love, or will he run again?' and how it applies to his relationship with Theresia, and what roles they play around that.
ok time to eat ^^
I am glad you have enjoyed this silly lil chapter. There's some interesting moments coming up, and I hope you will enjoy them as you have this one. Thank you for your support as always <3
