Jun 05, 2023
To:Bubbles
Just edited the whole 5 ch again, trying to implementing your suggestion. I do tend to write lot of details, but right now I added some inner thoughts of the Main Character as the details goes on.
I agree with the uninteresting part and tried to mix things up. Maybe it's quite boring just like the title name, I thought that it was normal for natural interaction in real life, which seems redundant here. I deleted a few lines at chapter 2 cafeteria as well while adding mc thought because of your suggestion.
I also added the dream of MC in the first chapter briefly. I wanted to explain mc's dream but much later, since it contains his depression and desperation, something that will be discussed by both of them.
I also tried to change all the chapter endings, I believe that those will fit more.
overall, this suggestion was the most helpful one I ever had. thank you once again, bubbles.
