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I've decided that now is the time to write my first story. Above all, let's have fun on this journey!
What is an Achievement?
Jun 08, 2023
I looked up the girl's name's meaning...uh oh. It confuses me a bit how you sometimes use - to denote speech and at some point also used "" to denote a thought. I think "" is the way to go as it's the norm for writing and most people are used to reading it that way. Using (Tetsudo's mother) to explain something I also wouldn't do. Noticed a typo: it's "the sun shone" instead of shined, shined has a different meaning. That aside, interesting content in this chapter.
Interesting first chapter, with a nice hook at the end! I would recommend using a few more line breaks here and there.
Please make regular use of line breaks to make your text more readable. There are also still a lot of errors in this text. This chapter needs some cleaning up.
#teamcrystal here! Yan was way out of line. Good that he himself realized he went too far.
To:dmz
The title says it all! If you're looking for a story about people on the run, this is the place 😁. Though the majority of the first arc takes place in and around the village. Fyi, the events of chapter 4 will get moved into the next arc, so it's not a required read for now.
I wanted to put a spin on the isekai genre, while still keeping some shounen aspects. It's a game of finding the right balance.
We've written quite different grandma characters, but I prefer a loving and doting grandmother like this.
To:Tomato
The journey is just beginning!
What a twist! I'd forgotten the title of this novel with the way this all started and was surprised by the final line, but that's a good thing.
Lovely chapter, Grace must have a heart of gold. The parents' research could perhaps make Grace into a virtual waifu when Haru's awake? Let's see where this goes.
To:Lihinel
I considered making it a misunderstanding, but I've got something planned out now.
Sorry for the confusion, it's a brand!
Thank you! Above all, I want myself and the readers to have a good time. 😁
That fight scene went through a lot of rewrites! I initially had a longer one planned out but I didn't want to make it too drawn out.
To:A. Hoshino
Thank you for the kind words! I've been stressing a bit about not including enough wholesomeness so far, but you're right. I shouldn't rush it.
