Ducky123 / Comments

Ducky123

4 Following

4 Followers

Fellow writer here. Long year fanfic author trying his hands at original stories. Hope you like my work.

registered at: Jun 12, 2023

Roles

Author

Badge

bronze

What is Badge?

Achievements

What is an Achievement?

Report this user

Comments

aaa

Jul 11, 2023

Finally found some time to read a few more chapters!

Yay, hugs! They're so sweet and I really like the contrast to most stories on here because your characters have a history of familiarity that gradually blossoms into love while most other stories (mine included) work with romances that develop from a state of being (near-) strangers. Just something I felt like pointing out.

Okay we had hugs, now I demand headpats xD

The Youngest Court Mystic And the Mischievous Twin Princesses

Chapter:5

Jul 11, 2023

Sometimes I wish bullying would be represented a lot more in media and yet sometimes I don't. That feeling of helplessness, knowing that stepping in would only make everything worse, really reached me there.

Escapism

Chapter:9

Jul 11, 2023

derp, I meant John in my last paragraph. That's what you get for commenting in the middle of the night😯

Escapism

Chapter:8

Jul 11, 2023

First of all, you're doing a great job at trolling your readers. First making us believe she has boyfriend, then dropping the whole story about Stan and now a sudden kiss out of nowhere?! Makes my senses tingle for sure haha, good job in that department!

I feel like I also need to drop a little bomb myself though. I'm not sure if this is a general problem but in this chapter, I've been extremely lost during the conversations because of the machine gun fire rate of the dialogues. A lot of times I wasn't even sure who was talking.

You should consider adding more descriptive elements to your dialogues and make it a little clearer who is talking. Rapid-fire dialogues are nice in moderation, especially for quick banter like this but using them too much can lead to confusion.

I'm not sure what role Stan is going to play but the chapter already made it very clear that he's more than a random side character so I'm looking forward to more! 👍

Escapism

Chapter:8

Jul 11, 2023

Hmm, interesting way of introducing Nao. I'm not sure if I'm just bad at paying attention but I feel like Nao changed moods and emotions faster than many famous clubs change their coach (to keep this somewhat on-topic ^^).

My hunch tells me that you were doing this quite intentionally but it still strikes me as a bit odd as it leaves me in the dark about what kind of character Nao truly is. She's being cute one moment, shy in the other and tries not the cry whenever he's not looking.

Other than that, I feel like your novel has been solid so far, and the pacing feels very balanced. 👍

Our Greatest Comeback: Thanks to your beautiful light

Chapter:3

Jul 11, 2023

I know this is going to be a straight novel but the dynamics between these boys are already quite enjoyable and I'm sure they'll be the backbone of this story, considering that soccer seems to be a significant part of it

Takashi sounds like me when I play soccer. I'll hit the ball but it's pure chance where it'll go xD

Our Greatest Comeback: Thanks to your beautiful light

Chapter:0

Jul 11, 2023

In chapter 8, Koyori finally gets to see Keiichi's room. How bad is it really? Read to find out and enjoy the silliness!

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:8

Jul 10, 2023

Oh trust me I've spent a lot of time procrastinating on how to write that transition... 😱

Thanks for your encouraging words!

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:3

Jul 10, 2023

To:Lei

Thanks, I'm glad you liked the gaming part. I still think it's one of my weaker chapters though.

I was a little worried about Jun being too big of an idiot in particular as he's undoubtedly a bad influence 😆

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:2

Jul 10, 2023

To:Lei

Haha yeah I just read it and thought the same xD

Many thanks for the feedback, especially about the looking into the mirror trope. I'll have to reconsider using it but it's just so inviting... 😩

I think paragraphs are better in my current chapters. It's really true what you said, especially when reading on phone you get literal walls of texts sometimes. I guess less can be more here 😂

Taking a note to elaborate on the Otaku stuff when it's editing time, thanks again! 👍

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:1

Jul 10, 2023

To:Lei

Aww thank you so much 😅

I agree, contrast is great for any story and situation ^^

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:0

Jul 10, 2023

To:Kaisei

Thanks, and don't worry it's not gonna be *that* bad but let's not spoil the fun. Chapter 8 drops tomorrow 👍

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:7

Jul 08, 2023

More of a SoL chapter this time around, hope you enjoy 👍

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:7

Jul 08, 2023

To:Geta

Yeah, Keiichi doesn't have it easy right now. Learning how to talk to girls would at least solve one problem but I doubt he could ever win against his Mom xD

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:6

Jul 07, 2023

To:Kaisei

Thanks, I'm really glad 😂

I almost feel sorry for Keiichi, his mom is a pretty huge troll indeed and Koyori is playing with his emotions lol.

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:6

Ducky123

Novels

Gallery

Comments

Reviews

aaa