Nov 17, 2025
I applaud you for going at it with the text message segment. That's not an easy format to get down as it can feel jarring to see the sudden shift in format. That being said, you might want to better illustrate the transition to the texting as all you do before humping into it is have the line saying, "That night, sleep wouldn't come" followed by the "___". Perhaps revising the sentence to "That night, sleep wouldn't come, so I reached for my phone" or something of a similar vain, would make the transition seem more fluid.