Jul 24, 2021
The back and forth bantering is indeed very humorous, but it also is delivered naturally. I don't feel that it was forced anywhere. And as a huge anime fan, I understand all the quips that Kiku was throwing at Kohei. My favorite line was when he called Kiku, "made of ghost peppers, a circuit board, with zero sugar." 😂
As for dialogue tags, you do tend to have extensive parts where the dialogue shoots back and forth between the two. It is lovely, and most of the time, I can tell who is speaking it. However, one thing that may still help you is to add a few tags to animate their motions a bit more while talking. This helps to break up some of the blocks of dialogue, so that you can draw more focus to each set of jokes. Tags showing them reacting and making annoyed gestures occasionally help with making sure that each set of dialogue is better contained, rather than one large back and forth. So while you do have most of the dialogue tags in the right place, they could be a little more dynamic. Similar to how you do a good job at addressing who is talking next in the narration.
