Feb 17, 2022
Shame you didn't submit this to the Monthly Challenge a few weeks ago. It would've fit perfectly. I also have some nitpicky line editing.
Lazy onomatopoeia (Wham!) will not hook anyone into the story. The next two lines don't add anything except generic detail.
It's strange how Reji is introduced as a genuine cheerleader. Maybe something more like "Don't tell me you're down already?!"
If you omit "in school", it might make the joke harder to see coming. Monsters usually don't go to school.
He just screamed RISING DEMON UPPERCUT and the bully's taunting about how Axel missed.
Given how unprofessional HaHaHa looks, I'd put the explanation that his laugh was annoying a bit earlier. Even then, you could use Ha-ha-ha! and it would look more intentional.
"You promised to help me get a girlfriend for Valentine's Day." I'd never say this in range for anyone to hear.
The MC shouldn't be Erk!ing. You've already established that it's a goofy Reji thing. If a sound is awkward, try cutting it out and see if the story flows fine without it.
Reji could have been saying "My best pal is secretly in love with the show, Magical Pom Pom." So there's no reason for the MC to freak.
Hahahaha-ing should be a Jazz-only thing, unless you choose to acknowledge the weirdness of Reji laughing like that too.
Outside of minor details, I appreciate how you misdirected the reader into thinking Axel really was the toughest guy around. If you continue to play with the reader's expectations like this, I think you'll end up with a great story.
