Steward McOy / Comments

Steward McOy

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Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

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aaa

Nov 15, 2024

Discussing square roots and quantum thought experiments is so hood.

In all seriousness, things are starting to make a bit more sense because of that conversation.

Parallel in Two

Chapter:5

Nov 13, 2024

Cute boy character? Why didn’t you say so earlier?

Iero

Chapter:2

Nov 13, 2024

Helium in the far future, huh? I wonder where they get it.

Hi Flyers!

Chapter:4

Nov 13, 2024

To:kazesenken

Ohhhh yeah. I split the chapter here because it seemed like a good cliffhanger and because if the recommended chapter length for the contest. But the next paragraph gets into that exact detail. So in my mind, it wasn’t a question I was trying to prompt the reader to consider, because I know what’s next and I don’t originally write it that way.

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:2

Nov 13, 2024

To:kazesenken

Her hip servo was damaged by shrapnel from her chassis when she was shot. She kept on running until it broke completely. She didn’t necessarily want the cats to take it, but she needed *someone*, and they were the only ones nearby.

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:2

Nov 13, 2024

Aha. The rope makes a lot more sense now.

Apocalypse Punk

Chapter:2

Nov 13, 2024

Beep bop.

Food Truck in Space

Chapter:2

Nov 13, 2024

To:Mech

Is that like being the master of unlocking?

Honestly, that's fair. It's early in the book. Not a lot of room for constructive criticism. And I did know what I was doing for these first few chapters, but I'm a bit less sure going forward, so it might be a bit of a bumpy ride.

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:2

Nov 13, 2024

To:Mech

Shin Sekai Yori my beloved.

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:1

Nov 12, 2024

Your characters tend to be fun, a bit exaggerated, and over the top, and now that I think about it, that’s probably a great approach when trying to appeal to an anime/manga audience. I ought to try it some time.

Hi Flyers!

Chapter:3

Nov 12, 2024

To:Taylor J

Thanks! To be honest, I thought about changing the title many times, but everyone told me to keep it. I’m glad I listened. It’s a bit cheesy, but it seems to get attention and people tend to enjoy it.

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:0

Nov 12, 2024

To:SkeletonIdiot

I never even thought about it, but you’re right. The nukes, the protective suits, the isolated communities, the opening narration about war…. It’s very similar.

Thanks, I’m gonna advertise this as weeb Fallout with cat people from now on.

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:1

Nov 12, 2024

"Besides, everyone knows vehicles retain their value." 🦆🤣

Food Truck in Space

Chapter:1

Nov 12, 2024

You've definitely got an interesting theme going on here with the technologies that solved all of life's problems creating their own smaller inconveniences. Certainly a unique take on the harmonic future concept.

In this chapter and the last, you seem to switch between using quotation marks for dialogue and writing script-style dialogue. Using quotation marks tends to be viewed more favorably on this site.

31st Century Teens

Chapter:3

Nov 12, 2024

I always knew video games were our greatest treasure.

An Ode to the Stars

Chapter:12

Steward McOy

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