Dec 27, 2019
I was surprised by the shortness of this chapter at first, but after reading the author's note, I understood. I support the decision for shorter (albeit more) chapters, especially because it can help with the time gaps between uploads. Personally, I don't really suffer from the burnout, but I'm sure some readers could, especially those who are used to the brevity of most LNs. Also, I think the author's note at the end really helps for jumping right into the action. I'd been considering doing the same for my uploads.
This chapter was all fun and games until the attackers arrived. I actually felt my pulse quicken when I read about the glow paint shoes under the door! This made me realize that your description of Mary Glow's crew was good for creating an unforgettable explanation, because I instantly understood who had arrived to crash the party.
If it's of any consolation, I say the two-month wait paid off here. The descriptions of the characters, their actions, and their personalities made everything in this chapter just click. It may be my personal preference to some degree, but the humor, action, and general explanations just felt very balanced to me, and the prose just flowed well. Knowing the overall tone of the story thus far, nothing here felt forced, but only felt appropriate. I can say with confidence that your prose is moving in a good direction. Hats off, mate! :D
Oh, and just so you know, about the blond man's name... I have a sneaking suspicion you purposely tickled my nose with that little teaser thing you did. I'll remember this...
