Jul 04, 2023

Aww Shiori is getting gossiped about and bullied? :( I can see why she was so sensitive about her name now. And socializing in general.

I'm glad Yuta doesn't judge her at least. He might not know how to help, but at least he's not adding to the hurt 👍

"Don't come over" 😭 ok I'll drop the assignment off in your mail box I guess? Poor yuta!

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Jul 04, 2023

To:Valentine

"Purple Prose" (as I know it) is usually used to describe writing that uses Fancy Words just because Fancy words are Fancy. For example, instead of saying "We walked to the park" writing something like "My companions and I sauntered to the fabulous, fanticular yard of most eloquent viridian veritae!!" I definitely don't think your writing is like that 🤣 so don't worry!

The dream-like quality comes from your use of soft adjectives and indirect description. For example here, instead of saying "She was painting a portrait of a man and woman, both dressed nicely." (direct statement), you wrote "A person was in the middle, attired in a suit. A girl behind him, slightly bent over, grasping his hand. Her dress as white as a lily." (More indirect and soft.) You're writing the scene, but dancing around it with your words, almost like a surrealist painting!! It's very cool and I certainly wouldn't consider it a bad thing. I think it sets your writing apart and gives you a unique voice. 💕

The Valley of Blue, huh? 💙 I will definitely consider it and scratch my head for sure 🤣 excited for more!!

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Jul 04, 2023

A flashback to a memory of painting. She's painting a scene of a rich, lovely household. A man and a woman? Perhaps a wedding portrait?

The new years fireworks and a hint of snow!! Oh this is such a pretty scene, but the hint of fuzziness and horror lets me know it's a dream. And then the accident again. He's reliving this moment over and over, both beautiful and harrowing. 💔 Your writing is still so amazing in these scenes!! I don't know how you do it!

I'm realizing, since Caramel has a name...does that mean Caramel is legendary?? 😤 I always knew it. Caramel was the patron saint of this story.

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Jul 04, 2023

I love all these manga descriptions!! Are some of them parodies of actual manga? 🤣 I kept looking for references!

They touched hands!!! Eee! She sounds so pretty too!

And she asked him about the manga 🥰 yes! Yes they're talking! And trading names!! Woooo!! 🎉 (I am so excited for them because they are just both so shy and cute and precious~)

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Jul 04, 2023

To:Shulox

Whoops! Sorry I didn't reply to this comment first! 👀

I can take a closer look over a chapter and provide some specific feedback if you would like! Let me know which chapter!! I may be able to tell you some patterns I notice. Since I half-speak Spanish (I cannot claim to speak it well 😂) I can tell you parts that might be influenced by Spanish grammar that are not as native to English.

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Jul 04, 2023

Kousuke is thinking with his head 😂 but the wrong one!

A secret childhood BL stash?! Arabella nooo 😭 ahaha. Also Mochita best character? Best. He is best boy and I want no one to hurt him ever 😤

I like that the mother had a serious moment there. She doesn't want to lose her daughter too 💔

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Jul 04, 2023

To:Zauru

Claire's magic (I'll admit) is a bit fuzzy in its definition and it tends to do mostly what the plot demands 🤣 But! I do have an explanation planned for this, and a reason why she uses her magic on some things, but not others.

I'll also say that her magic is outside the realm of the worlds. So even though people in Farelle have magic, it's not like Claire's! Claire specifically is a bit world-breaking 🤣

If you like boomerang jokes get ready 😏 they're one of my favorite things and this series is subtly full of them.

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Jul 04, 2023

To:Blues01l

Wow!! Writing that much is a lot! I'm not ahead on my novel at all and I end up writing things usually a day or two beforehand because of my busy schedule 🤣 you have my respect! I think that kind of dillegence is really important to write a story through from beginning to end (which, imo, actually finishing a story is one of the hardest parts of writing.) I'm glad I can help support 💕

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Jul 04, 2023

Greymoor family is airing everyone's dirty laundry 👀 I'm a bit worried for them!! But also glad it's annoying the prince 🤣

Dance battle 🩰 honestly Viv, give him a good step on the toes with those heels! >:)

(´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ "Vivian I lov--" 💥

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Jul 04, 2023

Being a mage did impact their bodies!! 😲 Woah! I bet that's got to be frightening for Emmett to see his parents again, after all this time. I'm glad his parents seem to know something though. At least bringing them back was worth it, even if it hurt 😣

They DID know Selphine! Now I have to wonder: is the Masked Order really on the side of justice? Or does Selphine have a good reason to attack them?

Oh shoot counter necromancy spell? 😭 Quick, Emmett dodge!

A solid chapter as always 👍 you write these so fast!! Do you have them prewritten or do you write as you go? 🥰 You've put a lot of work into this~ writing 28 chapters in (nearly) one month!!

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Jul 04, 2023

To:☆ C l i m a x ☆

If you don't have sound sensitivities these might not help, but check out the Calmer earplugs made by FlareAudio! They also have other professional ear plugs that I've found very nice. A bit pricey, but for me it was worth it 🤣 #NotSponsored lol.

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Jul 04, 2023

Slowly growing to like Kasumi more and more 💕 I'm so glad she's just as silly and goofy as Haru, and seems to genuinely like his antics. (Poor Haru though 😭 I know what it's like to get nervous and suddenly go over-the-top to try to interest people...and then afterwards it's like "why?? Why did I do thaaaat?")

But hitting her with the "just friends" line 😏 Kasumi thought they were more~?

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Jul 04, 2023

To:yahallo

I'm glad my feedback could help 😁 I'm always happy to support other authors and give feedback when I have time.

If the contest doesn't matter too much to you, then I wouldn't limit yourself to the "Romance" genre 🤗 think about what stories excite you in general! Fantasy? Mystery? Suspence? Slice of Life?

The biggest battle in writing (in my opinion) is crafting an engaging story -- and then actually sitting down and writing it, beginning to end.

I cannot even count how many stories I started writing, only to never finish 😭 I've got hundreds. I think I wrote my first story beginning to end when I was in college. It wasn't even that good of a story, but I was just happy to complete something!!

That's why I think finding your motivation is the bigger battle here! The technical side of your writing is good! Now for the plotline 💪

And I would be very happy if you read my novel 🤗 but only if you want! It is a silly story 🤣 but I hope it can make people smile!

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Jul 03, 2023

To:HVM

Totally normal reaction. Nothing to see here folks! Move along!

But seriously thank you for taking the time to check out my story!! I hope it's given you a few laughs 😁 I know it's a totally different genre than the story you're writing, but I hope it's been silly and enjoyable all the same! Also I saw you posted a new chapter, I'm about to go read it 👍

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Jul 03, 2023

To:HVM

Self-proving prophecy right there 😭 my boy just will not listen. He's gonna learn.

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