Jun 06, 2023

The dramatic battlefield intro is so scenic, I can picture it clearly in my head!
I'm also just a big fan of the name Elias so I might be predisposed to like him hehe. I'm hoping he comes around to healing his past wounds (even if he can't quite remember them) and living a peaceful life! 🌸

A quick fix though: at the end of the battle field scene (right before the "---" paragraph skip) I think you might have a double-copied paragraph? It seems to end the scene twice, but with different wording. I wasn't sure, but I thought I'd mention it!

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Jun 06, 2023

I studied piano during school -- and admittedly was forced into a few performances/competitions, not my favorite. I can definitely relate to the fear of hitting that sour note on stage (and well, inevitably, it did happen.) It's nice to see you showing that hitting a sour note isn't the end of the world, and that usually your teachers/friends/family are all really supportive.

The transition off-stage though confused me a little bit, just because I'm not suuuper certain where everything is taking place and who's talking when? Just a few solid things like noting the location/time of day right before "You look awful" line might really help! I noticed that you mentioned they're "leaving the auditorium at night" later on, but the characters were talking in blank space for me until then 😆

Hoping for more!

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Jun 06, 2023

To:AvighnAnime

hey there, not the author replying, but on HoneyFeed the chapter number headings are automatically added after posting the chapter (if you're trying to post your own novel.) So all you need to do is type in the chapter name, and the writing, and HoneyFeed will add the Chapter heading for you once published.

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Jun 06, 2023

This has OVER THE TOP vibes and I'm here for it. Honestly, rooting for our ditzy workaholic neighbor and we've just met her ❤️

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Jun 06, 2023

Ooooh, I love that the story just jumps right in to the action. Excited to learn more about Ash!

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Jun 06, 2023

I love stargazing myself! Would have loved to have star posters and a backpack as a kid ヽ(>∀<☆)ノhoping to see a bit more!

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Jun 06, 2023

Got a kick out of Kazuki stealing his last name from a nearby book, perhaps accidentally giving himself a less-than-desirable identity?

Definitely getting more of a romance vibe between Alitia and Lumi rather than with the main character though 😆 though I suspect that might change!

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Jun 06, 2023

What a fun start! I definitely chucked at the shift from "Scenic painting" to suddenly "Hey let's grind for exp!"

A few quick typos I spotted that you can fix!
"She didn't *cheep* out" --> Cheap.
"cobalts with spears" --> Not sure if cobalts are a custom name for your monster, or if you mean kobolds?

Either way, very fun and love the cover art!

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Jun 02, 2023

Wanted to get this posted on June 1st for the contest, but ended up getting called into work so I couldn't finish the cover art on time (and I always forget how long art takes!) (＃＞＜) If you're reading, thanks for being here!!

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