Mario Nakano 64 / Comments

Mario Nakano 64

It's a me. I'm an aspiring light novel writer hoping to one day see my works in anime form. I hope that my works at least brighten up your day and give you something to look forward to.

registered at: Jun 30, 2023

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aaa

Oct 05, 2025

I guess they're gonna confront Star Awesome.

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:41

Oct 05, 2025

I know it might be a bit late to mention this considering it's been in several chapters prior, but I feel the way you do scene changes/perspective shifts can ruin the immersion a tad. I get you want to explain where everything is taking place, but it becomes repetitive. Unless the characters are in different places from where they last were, I don't think there's a need to state the location every time. If you're doing it mainly to use it as a scene transition element, I'd recommend something like "..." or maybe inserting a symbol to better illustrate the scene change.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:21

Oct 05, 2025

This is a good lore-dump chapter. I feel it worked better than some of the previous ones mainly due to the fact it didn't have too many scene changes and flashbacks.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:20

Oct 05, 2025

Yeah, now with all these lore dumps, I'd be surprised if suddenly everyone gets isekaid.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:19

Oct 05, 2025

Now that you mention it, this chapter was pretty heavy in exposition.

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:40

Oct 05, 2025

So the gelatin hair's a trait of nomeds? What if someone's bald? Do they still get gelatin hair?

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:39

Oct 05, 2025

Now it's really looking like things truly will remain set in this earth.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:18

Oct 05, 2025

A lot is happening here.

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:38

Oct 05, 2025

Glad you stopped referring to female Nive as "Nive (girl)" as before it broke the immersion a bit. With another new character, it's making me curious as to how many named characters there will be by the end of the story.

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:37

Oct 05, 2025

Sephiroth?

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:36

Oct 05, 2025

So John Smith's from the Vatican. He's not the ope of this world though, right?

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:17

Oct 05, 2025

Wait, there's two Nives now?

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:35

Oct 05, 2025

And there's the "Character named Rose or a variant of it" quota unofficially required for this contest.

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:34

Oct 05, 2025

So is Luna a denizen of another world that found herself transported to this one?

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:16

Oct 05, 2025

Why the uncapitalized "yes"s?

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:33

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