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It's a me. I'm an aspiring light novel writer hoping to one day see my works in anime form. I hope that my works at least brighten up your day and give you something to look forward to.
What is an Achievement?
Jan 05, 2025
Well Ren, better hope your plan works, otherwise you're in for an even worse time.
Jan 04, 2025
To:SkeletonIdiot
These next few chapters will be an emotional roller coaster, but the series finale is close at hand.
Moukia was an MVP. He will be missed. But maybe there's a chance he can be rebuilt. Slim, but a a chance none the less.
I'm liking the introduction of the characters. One thing I'd recommend is removing the "POV Lucy, 10 years old" at the start. Since the chapter is narrated in third person, it feels like this line feels a bit off. One point of clarity I should mention is that there's nothing wrong with indicating a character's point of view. Many novels do it, but it is often done to highlight when said character is narrating in 1st person. Sasaki and Peeps is a good example of this. Thus, I'd recommend removing the "POV" subtitle as it disrupts the immersion.
Great start. This might just be me, but just going off of everything that's been presented thus far, I feel like this better fits the Alt-history theme, but there's only two chapters out thus far so I can't fully judge it in that regard. Good luck with the novel though, you're cutting it close with the deadline being in 9 days.
To:Bakajanai69
I'm glad the world is drawing you in. Lyn is more of a side character, but she will have a fair amount of screen-time overall so look forward to seeing more of her.
Jan 03, 2025
Good start. The world-building is done well. My only minor critique would be the "An Alt-History City (2030)" headline before the 3rd paragraph. If you're going for a scene change, I'd recommend stating the actual name of the city as "Alt-history city" does tend to break the immersion. Otherwise, keep up the good work.
Thanks for checking this out. This world is filled with vivid futuristic concepts and colorful characters. I hope you enjoy reading this.
Jan 02, 2025
Really enjoying the dialogue between these two characters. Stella's personality is also becoming a highlight.
So it appears Rudolph will eventually become Ren. Poor guy's just suffering, but sadly that's the norm in dystopian novels.
Now this chapter is classic dystopian horror. This is why if you're a spy/agent, you carry a cyanide pill in a dental implant in order to avoid scenarios like this. You just need to be careful about not accidentally chomping it when you don't mean to.
Poor Kaede. She's got perfect reason to worry, as when a dystopian government official takes someone away, it's rare they return the same if at all. I'm wondering if we're going to see things from Ren's side or if the reader will be left in the dark and only see Kaede's.
Pod racing was certainly the basis for this arc, but I feel like it got merged with Wacky races and Kandagawa jet girls. TIE fighters would definitely be a better analogy for the physical vehicle though.
To:Rowan.Burns
Iori's easily one of my favorite characters so naturally she's gonna have some of the best moments in the series. That being said, these first few seasons don't entirely focus on her, but she does have some notable moments. Mei on the other hand is in contention for having the least amount of screen-time for the series, though she will still pop up again after this chapter.
To celebrate the Rasputin mini-arc, I made some artwork. I'm very proud of how it turned out. Even though it's currently in the main gallery at this point in time, I'll provide a link both for convenience and because it likely won't be in the main gallery forever.
The link: https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novel_images/17350
