Sep 06, 2021
What an interesting juxtaposition. You told me to stop on Chapter 19, for shame, you wanted to deprive me of this buxom succubus. Tsk.
Jokes aside, I have mixed feelings about this chapter. For one, I will say that the character of Seraphine, whilst destroying my asexual walls, is an interesting contrast to what we've seen in Maribell. We were made aware of the true wickedness of the Witches, but to see it unfold in such perverse detail is truly an interesting tale. It's jarring, but in a very appropriate way, so I enjoy it a lot. The forced yaoi... we will just pretend none of that came to be as far as I'm concerned.
However, as hypocritical and out of place this might be from me, I feel like it's around this point where the execution has become rather messy. A lot of repetition, the exposition being much less natural than before, the narrative breaks, the whole tone of it. Feels exhausted, really and pitifully so, because I hoped that this would be the serious undertone I've waited for all this while. Alas, I shall slumber and hope that what I'll finish tomorrow makes it a worthwhile wait.
As for a general bit of feedback as I've reached this milestone, all holds barred, this is a nice novel. Unfortunately, I can only go as far as to ignoring my subjective views and likes, therefore what I have said and will say should be taken with a truckload of salt. I strongly feel like this is a good contender for the crown, for it ticks all the boxes it needs to tick. Ease to adapt, content, chapter length, pacing, a craft worthy of someone who has held a webnovel crown, I'll say. The comedic bits are ripe with reference I'm too uninitiated in the anime world to get and they are, by far, this story's largest merit; it seems the largest amount of effort was put into them and this is by no means meant to be a detraction. Rather a praise again, since it's clear that you know your audience and played to their wants, whilst still remaining true to the story you wanted to tell. If anything the positive response and countless recommendations are only testaments of this success.
However, onto the more serious bits... I haven't read many LNs, I haven't delved into YA as a rule and I'm unaware of how briefly represented emotions need to be for them to be properly registered in this medium. But be that as it may, for the most part I found everything negative to be unfortunately superficial. It is meant to be a comedy, for sure, but a little bit of rain makes the sun shine even brighter after it. I felt like the moments where the gags were removed simply didn't live up to the expectations demanded by the mastery with which the jokes were crafted. The reason behind them, I couldn't tell. Whether it's voluntary, inexperience with the subject or something else, I'm not expert enough to say. What I can say, though, is that the brisk pacing at which these moments fly by only cements a belief that they're either unimportant or simply meant to be fodder. Not a good look whichever way it would be. As such, presumptuous as this advice my sounds, I think that if you want to include some more downbeat undertones, proper exploration should be practised. This chapter here is a rather good example. Seraphina's story, whilst still brief, was telling enough for me to empathise with and feel sorry for her. And whilst I would've wanted a bit more emotionality to come from her on this front, within the scope of what this aims to be it was plenty enough to be considered a threshold.
That should be all I have for today, I'm rather tuckered out. With a curtsy, I bid you a good day and until tomorrow...
Bubbles, out. :3
