Jan 10, 2022
I was browsing for the Survival genre because my own book is in it, and I found yours right up with it at the top of weekly rankings. So, I decided I would check it out.
The pilot isn’t long, but the twist at the end is effective. I don’t like reading super long chapters, so, yeah, don’t worry about that. My only qualm is that the concept of the ‘girls’ is kinda objectified. I, as with most people, do not flock to someone of the opposite sex. It’s a pretty standard trope, though, so it’s not a big issue.
The three ‘main’ characters (as far as I can tell), Will, Nolan, and Arthur, are fairly simple, but they’re not awful. Will is the quiet, innocent kid (I can strongly relate to his just wanting to listen to music), Nolan is the brave soul who protects the innocent, and Arthur is the bully. Personally, I wish you did a little more with Arthur, because the generic ‘bully’ attitude is kind of annoying. Like, bullies are still people. Generally, they don’t do anything unprovoked. As someone who dealt with bullying, bullies don’t just come up to you and steal your whatever without any prerequisite. (Although it can feel like that in the moment, I would know.)
What you’ve got here is an interesting chapter. I’ll continue reading and see what you’ve got planned! :3
