Jan 30, 2022
Wha,ah, but-- wah ahm..... God damn!!!😂😂.
What an ending! I'm usually one for long reviews but I got nothing to say other then awesome!😂😁.
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.......... Well maybe a few things😉😉.
Negatives;
I've mentioned before but the early chapters are looooong as heck, which is cool except when they then get abruptly shorter - It sorta does strange things to the stories pacing ya know?
Further periodically I did get confused on certain plot points (i.e. Jyn actually has a brother!? And the whole confusion over which Yang this was).
Finally the plot can sometimes feel a little direction-less with nothing but "get home" as the goal - At first each door of the mansion explored gives a sense of progression but once the iseaki part starts you do sorta lose that progress 👍👍.
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The positives;
Your prose is very engaging, first person can be....tricky😅.
Alot of the time all first person narration ends up having less to do with the characters, and more just becomes the writers mouth piece - You on the other hand do it amazingly!😄😊😉👍
The different perspectives all feel unique and colourful and the narration style changes in small ways to match Yang current state of sanity - Really brillaint stuff with even the "[]" boxes becoming something I actually quite liked!
The story is sufficiently mysterious to hold my attention, the world-building is fun and the characters all feel strong - Especially the seven dwarfs, love those guys.
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So ya really great work! Can't wait to see arc/volume/book(?) 2,
- Momentie😊👍.
