Mario Nakano 64 / Comments

Mario Nakano 64

It's a me. I'm an aspiring light novel writer hoping to one day see my works in anime form. I hope that my works at least brighten up your day and give you something to look forward to.

registered at: Jun 30, 2023

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aaa

Apr 24, 2026

Saw the artwork, so now I know what the side characters look like. Most surprised at Hatsue's design as at first I thought her design was Honoka's, but then I saw the name was different. Maybe it's because Horikita's on my mind so I imagined her looking similar.

Soul Nemesis [VOLUME II]

Chapter:7

Apr 24, 2026

This one was a bit rougher. First off, I'd refer to "Young man" as "the young man" instead as it makes things flow more smoothly. Second, I'd recommend editing the 7th paragraph, more specifically, the latter half of it by referring to Tenuun's father as simply just "his father" since Tenuun is already named at the start of the paragraph. I'd also take out the "Whole seven years" at the end. Finally, I noticed an error in paragraph 24. You wrote "ma" instead of "man". Don't worry, we all have mistakes like that, and they're easy to fix with a quick edit.

Filthy History

Chapter:3

Apr 24, 2026

Tenuun just doesn't give a damn about the news, but not in the sense that he doesn't watch it, but rather how desensitized he is to all the crazy stuff they're reporting. Story-wise, I think things are solid. Really, I feel your big shortcoming is simply 1st work syndrome, which all writers get. That being said, this is an improvement from the first chapter, so keep up the polishing and refining of your writing.

Filthy History

Chapter:2

Apr 24, 2026

As for some pointers, I'd rewrite the exchange between the young man and the president since the shift to script format is rather jarring. There's also some roughness in the text, but since this is your first big work, that's kind of expected. Polishing comes with experience, so the more you write, the more you'll refine things. Hope this helps.

Filthy History

Chapter:1

Apr 24, 2026

Dull for him is members of parliament hanging themselves? How messed up is shit where he is?

Filthy History

Chapter:1

Apr 24, 2026

Author's Commentary #784:

Time to talk about Chapter 784: Off to the mysterious tournament.
And right after saying I was motivated, I struggled with writing this chapter. It's more due to the fact that I actually don't know what the full roster for the tournament will be.

As of now, the known participants are Yuusuke, Sir Kit, and Xiao Lin. I'll also confirm that Yumehara is the character that was hinted at, since his reveal as a participant won't be that grand. The others I'm still deciding on. I have some ideas, and will likely have them all be characters that have appeared before in the series, but until I get them down, you can probably expect some stalling chapters. That said, I will try to end the arc before we reach the 800th chapter, since I want it to be its own thing.

That's all for this commentary. I hope you enjoyed it.

En Passant Grandmaster

Chapter:784

Apr 23, 2026

They can't even eat dinner without a scroll ordering them to hunt more demons dropping on their heads.

Hazel the mentor

Chapter:14

Apr 23, 2026

He was lucky the cops weren't around. That pick-up line... wouldn't have gone over well if they heard it.

Soul Nemesis [VOLUME II]

Chapter:6

Apr 23, 2026

Probably the pocket watch, that or another crutch, but I feel it's more likely to be the watch.

The Draugen and the Drowned Man

Chapter:14

Apr 23, 2026

Author's Commentary #783:

Time to talk about Chapter 783: Angry Mimoko.
With a title like that, I'm sure many were expecting it to pertain to Mimoko's reaction to Okisato's game, however, it's actually her reaction to the Jobberslayer League. I'm sure many were also surprised that the jobber tournament is public. I'd best describe it as an underground chess tournament open to the public.

Speaking of the tournament, though I'm still writing chapters without a backlog, at least as of the uploading of this chapter, it's been a much more relaxing experience compared to how it was writing the World Chess League stuff. I feel like while me not doing work on Volume 7 and finishing up my main contest entry is probably the key factor in all this, the storyline for the jobber tournament arc itself has also gotten me more engaged and motivated to write. It'll probably be on the shorter side of things, but at least I feel it's one of the better arcs, in terms of both the writing and the story.

That's all for this commentary. I hope you enjoyed it.

En Passant Grandmaster

Chapter:783

Apr 23, 2026

To:Katsuhito

Whelp, she was born on April Fool's Day, so it's natural Iori would play the fool.

En Passant Grandmaster Volume 1

Chapter:4

Apr 22, 2026

Guess these gyarus aren't nice to otakus.

Soul Nemesis [VOLUME II]

Chapter:5

Apr 22, 2026

I see you put Eiji in the last row, but by the door instead of the window. I think the only other protagonist that sits there, at least that I know of, is the one from Kubo Won't Let Me Be Invisible. Still, it's a pretty rare seating assignment for a protagonist. I actually ended up putting Okisato in the equally rare front row by the door spot. Wish it was more common practice to put the MCs not in the area around the back window as it tends to get overused.

Soul Nemesis [VOLUME II]

Chapter:4

Apr 22, 2026

Masterfully done. I was not expecting the dark twist at the end. As for the 10,000 yen, that's about... wow, just under $63 as of the writing of this comment. Yeah, that won't be buying any houses or getting you very far.

Soul Nemesis [VOLUME II]

Chapter:3

Apr 22, 2026

To:Katsuhito

Utami has potential, but still much to learn.

En Passant Grandmaster Volume 1

Chapter:3

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