Apr 19, 2025
To:Moon
It might be me projecting so disregard, but in case this is a first draft, it feels like the first few chapters are where you're testing the waters of the story. The characters were kind of floaty, their motivations except for Gretel's were pretty nebulous, and I kind of felt like it was missing a hook, or a clear direction. I think that by the end you managed to flesh everyone out a bit more, and by the time they arrived to the village I "knew" them well, but it wasn't until the pieces started to fall in a couple chapters ago that I actually felt, and I promise I don't mean this in bad faith, that the story was going somewhere, not only plot (since it's more episodic) but also theme and character wise.
With your entry past year I didn't have this issue because it was more slice of lifey by definition and the shenanigans WERE the point, but since arcs tend to be more drawn out here it did feel like it was dragging at points. I'd say that the same happened at the beginning of this arc as well until the lore drop tbh