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Jun 12, 2022
To:Parademero
New chapter in three days.
Similarly with the last chapter, it feels like you have the foundation of an okay story, but there's a bit of clunkiness to it, and the song lyrics keep taking me out of it.
the story itself is okay, but I felt like the song lyrics really kinda broke the tension tbh.
Jun 11, 2022
I'm confused why this guy is portrayed as such a loser when he has a fairly decent social circle it seems.
To:Deleted User
Sad as it is, Sam's still the closest thing she has to an actual friend.
Jun 10, 2022
To:sageash
Idk, it's not really tonally different. If we're not supposed to assume that she's embarrassed due to feelings developing, maybe make that more clear
That's quite a response
So far I'm really liking the dynamic between these two, it's definitely keeping my attention!
Ichika Nakano? So this is where she went after Go Toubun no Hanayome?
Who says it's a waste? Certainly not me, she seems cute!
This sounds like a really exciting premise! And yet it feels like the world would descend into chaos.
Ah so maybe she has fallen for him already.
I like to hope for the best when reading, so I wasn't fooled by the "girl falls in love immediately" bait and was pleased to see I was right. It isn't that easy.
Still feeling the clunkiness, mainly in the description, and in the flashbacks.
Story feels clunky with the flashbacks, but I'll keep reading to see how it improves.
