Aug 03, 2021
I'm not sure... Considering what you stated in the title page, I'll put aside the grammar, as hard as it is for me to do.
If I had to bring any attention to the overall writing, the format isn't doing any favors. Info dumping at the start of the chapter is incredibly jarring and without merit. Also with the lack of detail, I have no idea what's going on... or what things should look like. Thus this reads more like a script than a story. Without dialogue tags, it lacks any meaningful voice behind your characters. The things applied in parenthesis are odd, at best.
With that said, all the best.
