Mario Nakano 64 / Comments

Mario Nakano 64

It's a me. I'm an aspiring light novel writer hoping to one day see my works in anime form. I hope that my works at least brighten up your day and give you something to look forward to.

registered at: Jun 30, 2023

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aaa

Oct 05, 2025

Things sure got freaky at the end.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:25

Oct 05, 2025

Welp, looks like they're screwed.

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:46

Oct 05, 2025

Another zodiac.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:24

Oct 05, 2025

Oh shit, Toby's back.

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:45

Oct 05, 2025

They can still respawn, right?

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:44

Oct 05, 2025

Guess this begins the final battle.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:23

Oct 05, 2025

Really think you should have thought of a better way to distinguish between the two Nives instead of adding "(boy)" or "(girl)" after their names. It really can ruin the immersion. Sadly the editing period is over, but if it wasn't, I'd suggest maybe giving one a last initial, like Nive G. to differentiate female Nive from male Nive, who I believe was in the story longer.

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:43

Oct 05, 2025

Well everything really has gone to shit now, hasn't it.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:22

Oct 05, 2025

So was Toby's diary a negative then?

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:42

Oct 05, 2025

I guess they're gonna confront Star Awesome.

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:41

Oct 05, 2025

I know it might be a bit late to mention this considering it's been in several chapters prior, but I feel the way you do scene changes/perspective shifts can ruin the immersion a tad. I get you want to explain where everything is taking place, but it becomes repetitive. Unless the characters are in different places from where they last were, I don't think there's a need to state the location every time. If you're doing it mainly to use it as a scene transition element, I'd recommend something like "..." or maybe inserting a symbol to better illustrate the scene change.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:21

Oct 05, 2025

This is a good lore-dump chapter. I feel it worked better than some of the previous ones mainly due to the fact it didn't have too many scene changes and flashbacks.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:20

Oct 05, 2025

Yeah, now with all these lore dumps, I'd be surprised if suddenly everyone gets isekaid.

The Zodiac Covenant- Vol.1

Chapter:19

Oct 05, 2025

Now that you mention it, this chapter was pretty heavy in exposition.

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:40

Oct 05, 2025

So the gelatin hair's a trait of nomeds? What if someone's bald? Do they still get gelatin hair?

STAR AWESOME

Chapter:39

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